1/23/01, RNN - Warning! There have been several reported sightings of black panther saber-toothed bunnies in the vicinity of Greg's place.
Game officials aren't sure if this is the result of genetic experiments gone awry, or if it's a natural defense response resulting from the GORH onslaught against resident rabbits back in 1999.
Details are sketchy at this point. Stay tuned to this thread for further developments in this breaking story.
Copyright 2001, Rabbit News Network
BUCK-TOOTHED RODENTS MARSHALING FORCES, SOURCES SAY
Anonymous sources at both the NSA and CIA today confirmed rumors that scores of cottontail rabbits in central Ohio are mobilizing their forces in anticipation of an invasion of GORHites for an even that has been labled "2001: a GORH Oddity."
Sources declined to discuss specific details, but they did state that satellite photos indicated above-normal activity by furry rodents in the vicinity. Many rabbits were seen milling around a large black monolith believed to be composed of Dutch licorice, one source stated.
When questioned about the appearance of the monolith, novelist Arthur C. Clarke replied with a brusque "No comment" from his home in Sri Lanka.
The invading GORH contingent is reportedly composed of veterans of a similar invasion that took place in 1999, along with a number of newcomers. Supreme Commander and President for Life Br'er Rabbit referred to the latter as "fresh meat."
"We'll be ready for 'em," he boasted with a toothy sneer. "They don't stand a chance."
RNN's attempts to contact the GORH ringleader, variously known as Gepetto and Shopdust, were unsuccessful. Calls to Chump Apprentice Boy, believed to be Gepetto's first officer, were also unreturned.