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Spamorama Revealed

At the conclusion of last summers GSSC there was but one character unidentified, unaccounted for. Haggis' mighty adversary Spamorama had chosen to remain silent. Some said out of embarrassment from the posts he made, others thought to further antagonize Dean. Before retiring from The Wall, Dean made a valiant effort to expose Spamoramas' identity, thus allowing himself to enjoy his retirement. The following dialog resulted.

Dean was successful in his efforts. But...who is Wolverine??????

Cast of Characters

Alan Ransom aka Spamorama, Grasshopper
Billy Stewart aka Gunney
Brian Cole aka Spotted Owl, Haggis' Bastard Son
Bruce Snyder aka Guano
Daryl Harding aka Hawkeye
Dean Torges aka Haggis, VSN, Shopdust, A Nonny Mouse, Grump
Jerry Gowins aka Weasel, Master Po
Jim Antippas aka Spamophilite
Jim Flinn aka Opposum
Jim Moore aks JimNV
John Friedrick aka Hawk, Slick Willie
Libby Flinn aka Bear cub
Tom Lombard aka Wayne Newton
Tom Mussatto aka Tom(Longbo), TheHermit, Beevis, Old Sage
Rob Flinn aka Blue Goose, Will-o'-Wisp, Sleeping Thunder, SpamIAm

Subject: The Shadow Knows From: Dean Date: 27-Jan-98

OK, folks, line up with a guess to the identity of the legendary Spamorama, Haggis' nemesis in the storied Spam Wars. Come Friday, when my cast comes off, and right before I jump the fence, I will tell you who the rascal really is. We must have resolution. Closure, I believe, is the buzz word nowadays that the emotionally crippled use when they speak of healing. (Which is why we prefer resolution.)

And to add some interest to my departure, I may even reveal several self-serving pseudonyms that an amorphous antagonist of mine has used from time to time for undercover sniping. You like that?

One shot at Spamorama per real person. Unlimited for fake ID's.

Dean Torges

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Buz Date: 27-Jan-98

I vote for------ Don Superceder.

I believe that man is in love with that stuff.

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Bruce Snyder Date: 27-Jan-98

Brian Cole perhaps?

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Guano Date: 27-Jan-98

Tom (longbo) Musatto

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Keith Deters Date: 27-Jan-98

Hawkeye has been caught many times trying to match wits with you. He's my guess. What do I win. I need a nice Osage stave. Graduated with honors from Whitewood 101.


Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Spamorama Date: 27-Jan-98

Friends, archers, and spam connoisseurs...lend me your ear (literal interpretation optional). Dr. Deanus Toxophilus believes he has proof undeniable of my where-abouts and what-nots. Granted, I have over the course of several months laid the proverbial but subtle trail to my identity, to the point of out-right stupidity and carelessness. But, I digress. This lean and mean bois d' arc carving machine has engaged in illegal subterfuge to ferret out witnesses...he has dropped sordid lies to stain the uninitiated...and I have it on good word that he has resorted to witch craft and voodoo to justify the end of his maniacal means. There are a select few on this board who know who I am. I beseech thee, comrades, to remain steadfast to your oath. For the day has come that I now rely on your honor and integrity to exonerate me from any wrong doing. Ok, ok, ok...I'll buy you a cold beer if you zip dem' lips.


Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: TheHermit Date: 27-Jan-98

Ah Dean, you can't let it rest,

But I fear you will fail in this latest inquest.

I think only fitting for the king of instigation,

To spend future years in total frustration.

No one will reveal that whom you seek,

May force your return to the Wall for a peek.

It was true when first said, and is still true today,

"What tangled webs we weave, when we try to deceive".

But I'm not hardhearted and will give you this jest,

For that which you ask look to the west.

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Opossum Date: 27-Jan-98

It will take more than a cold beer to keep my lips tight. But if we are talking Jack Daniels then maybe I'll bite. Remember we see everything, we are the creatures of the night...........


Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: SpamIAm Date: 27-Jan-98

Could his intitials be A.R.?

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Tom (BR) Date: 27-Jan-98

My first guess was that it's Dean's evil twin sister, Deanna. But I think the SpamMiester is even closer to Dean then that. I think they are one and the same. Dean is getting up there in years and there's no telling what osage fumes do to you over time. Dr. Dean just morphs into Mr. SpamHyde, makes some posts, and doesn't remember it when he wakes up the next morning with Spam breath that he can't explain and an uneasy feeling that something ain't right.

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Weasel Date: 27-Jan-98

Crankin' up the smoke machine again, eh Deano? My britches are still smokin' after the last time you did that a few days ago. Still passing smoke instead of gas...

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Haggis'Bastard Son Date: 27-Jan-98

I owe the discovery of my true filial roots to Spamorama. My lips remain sealed, unless there are chubs and Honey Brown in the hip pocket.


Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Spamorama Date: 27-Jan-98

Now listen here you lil' not let food nor drink intoxicate common sense. Ask yourself, "who told me the truth"?


Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Gunney Date: 27-Jan-98

Is it Spudley?

God Bless


Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: TennBow Date: 27-Jan-98

What I want to know is:



Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: SpamIAm Date: 27-Jan-98

From Ohio this wily old fox

Who's been known to serve mule on the rocks

All his friends will amuse

When he ends the long ruse

and the high priest of spam he defrocks.


Is it Hawkeye?

It isn't me ... I don't think. Take on a silly name and its like you've got multiple personalities.

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Shopdust Date: 27-Jan-98

A friend of mine from the farm-a

Thought it might prove amusing drama

To see if I'd see

The i-den-tit-y

Of the man with the can--Spamorama.

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Jerry "Weasel" Gowins Date: 27-Jan-98

There is an old bowyer named Deano, who favors spam, osage, and vino. Widely known for his fame, knows Spamorama's real name? This beady-eyed Weasel don't think so.

But I do.

What's it worth to you, Dean? :-)

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Hawk Date: 27-Jan-98

I could only be Alan Ransom, you can tell by that NW accent!

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: TheHermit Date: 27-Jan-98

There once was a hermit from...oops, wrong one. Sorry.


Poor Dean, he's still a ponderin',

Says he knows but I think he's a wonderin'.

The E-mails are flyin',

Dean's patience is diein',

While the rest laughin' so hard we cryin'.

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Gunney Date: 27-Jan-98

There once was an man from Catskils

who ate Spam for cheap thrills.

His tummy was soon rollin

because of a blown colon.

That was heard thoughout all the hills

God Bless


Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: Rob Flinn Date: 27-Jan-98

Now lads this may be quite amusin',

This noble refrain that you're usin'.

But try as I can,

this poor Irish man,

still finds all this spam stuff confusin'

Subject: RE: Spamorama Revealed From: The original, one and only, Spotted Owl Date: 27-Jan-98


This thread reads like a roll call of anonymous-anonymous.

Lets throttle back a bit boys and savor the cyber sceenery. GSSC is a far piece of flyin, time wise.

Let this thread be an Horse-duver, a prelude to the main course.

And in that light - a tidbit from me...

Spamorama dingdong was the song, and in the lyrics hides his true identity.